Source 

Emotional
Stress
Boredom

You could basically fit any of those words (and probably a few more) into the title of this post, and you’ll have my eating habits for the past two months.

Now, I’m not trying to dwell on what I’ve done wrong before, but I sorta have to acknowledge it if I want to be able to move forward.

Things started going to crap when I began working from home.  I was suddenly thrown into a situation with no structure, and while I didn’t have alot of food in the house, I’d get bored and eat anything I could, or I would order delivery or hop in the car and head over to McDonalds or Wendys.  If these were my meals, it probably wouldn’t have been so bad, but this was a fairly constant thing throughout the day.  I also grew less interested in cooking, so almost every meal was eaten out, with little regard to healthy choices.

I resolved to do better in June, but that was a joke.  I housesat for my aunt for two weeks, in a house FILLED TO THE BRIM with all sorts of food, and I basically had at it.  I wasn’t eating out as much, but I was making up for it by eating all sorts of shit otherwise.

At the end of June I was on vacation in Winnipeg, Canada.  Again, lots and lots of eating out.  My only real saving grace there was that most of the eating was at actual meal times, there was very little snacking in between.

I don’t know why I get like that.  If I get upset at anything, I eat.  If I am stressed or bored, I eat.  If I have a craving for the slightest little thing, I eat.  If I try to allow myself one cheat meal, that basically gives way to a cheat day, which can give way to a cheat week, etc…

It sucks, and it sucks worse in that after I’ve eaten, I have very little motivation to do much else.  I just want to veg, so my workouts go out the window.  I workout a lot better on an empty, or near empty stomach, and over these past couple months having a empty or near empty stomach was a rarity.

But…hopefully that is all in the past, and I will get back on track.  Hopefully maybe even better than before, because the diet is something I’ve always struggled with to an extent.  I’m just not sure as to the best way to go about it.  I’ve tried counting calories before, and that lasted maybe a week.  I’ve tried meal tracking on Sparkpeople and Diet.com too, but quickly lost interest there as well.  Hell, the only reason I set up a twitter account was to tweet my meals, but that didn’t last long either.  I don’t know why it gets like that, especially I have no problem tracking each and every workout on Dailymile.

Blarg…I don’t know.  I was thinking about Weight Watchers for Men, but I don’t want to pay for something I’m going to end up not using.  I could just strive to eat healthy and not keep track of anything, too.  I know that works for alot of people, but I’ve been surprised in the past at how bad my “healthy” eating could be.

I’m rambling, so I’m going to shut up now.  I know something needs to be done, so it will, even if it means revisiting some old tools I tried to use in the past.  In the meantime, any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated  

Have a great day!

First off, I hope everyone had a great weekend.

Secondly, so as you can tell from my last post I had a bit of weak moment (not the first one, unfortunately)…and I broke down and bought some diet pills.

I haven’t taken them…

…and I am NOT going to take them.

I was hesitant to buy them in the first place, but I was trying to tell myself that it would only be temporary, and that it would only help jumpstart the diet and weightloss.

That was a crock of shit though.  It was shortcut, a “cheat”, there really isn’t any other way around that.  I know I don’t need that, and I know that I am better than that.  So we’ll going to keep going, and do this the right way

I want to thank you all for the encouragement, support, and the much needed ass kicking, whether it be in the comments, the email, on twitter, or in a few cases via text message.  I often wonder why you guys stick around and support me, especially since I haven’t really gotten anywhere in the past couple months, but it’s awesome that you have in fact stuck around, so thank you

In the meantime, the Hydroxycut sits on the table, still in the WalMart bag.    I’ll post a picture of the return receipt once I get back to the store

So I’ve talked of the reset, of starting fresh in June and all that, but the struggle hasn’t left me completely.

It’s my diet.

The same thing I’ve been struggling with from the very first day.  Since the beginning, I’ve had good stretches, but then I’d falter, then I’d do good again.  I’ve made plans to diet, calorie count, track my meals, etc…etc…but none of them have really gained any ground.

It’s frustrating, because during previous weight loss efforts the diet came fairly easily…but I really wasn’t doing it “the right way” as those previous efforts were extremely lowcal.

With that said, I kinda sorta gave into weakness today, and bought something that I’m hoping might help…

Hydroxycut.

When I started my journey, I told myself, and I told all of you that I wasn’t going to use diet pills.  I’ve tried them before, with limited success, and sometimes really weird side effects (I took dexatrim for awhile and had neon yellow pee).  Still though, I feel like I need to try something, even if its only temporary and to jumpstart thing.

I haven’t started taking it yet, and I’m really not even proud that I bought it.  I was fully intending to take it but not talk about it, but I felt that would be deceptive.

Ugh…I don’t know what to do.  I know I shouldn’t, and I know they can have some negative effects, but it’s like my desire to see something happen is overriding my better judgement…but this desire doesn’t seem to be enough to propel me to do anything on my own, which is REALLY frustrating. Boo!

Do any of you use anything (like diet pills, or whatever) to help you out?  What do YOU do to keep your diet on track?  Any and all help would be appreciated.