I think it’s pretty safe to say that I have become a broken record.

I’ve been struggling…honestly, part of me can’t say it’s been a struggle, because in many ways it seems like I haven’t even be trying.

The end goal is in the back of my mind…it’s in the back of my mind when I don’t go to the gym…it’s in the back of my mind when I stuff myself during the day out of boredom…it’s in the back of my mind when I basically do everything that I know I shouldn’t be doing right now.

Ugh.

I’ve made big claims about getting back on track, hitting the reset button, working out everyday, and all that jazz…but honestly, I’m going nowhere fast.

You’ve all been super encouraging and completely awesome, but I haven’t taken up any of your advice, I haven’t responded to your offers of help, I have been bad about emails, I have been bad about twitter.  I’m sorry for all of that.  I love and appreciate all of you and everything you have done for me…I just, don’t know

And yeah, I mean, I HAVE been busy.  Work, school and the like, but those issues were always there and I still managed to at least kick some ass, but now I’ve let it all overwhelm me.

I want to scream, but more than that I want to get on track.  I want to stop making empty promises and actually do this thing.  I want to learn from my failures and move on, and not allow them to overwhelm me. 

I wish I could say that this post would serve as a catalyst to that change, but honestly, the post few posts were suppose to serve as that catalyst.  So yeah, there’s that.

Oh yeah, there is supposed to be a Status Report this week, but honestly, I don’t want to know.

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There is SOME good to report though…I turned 26 last Friday, and I had a really nice birthday.  I hung out with some friends, saw Iron Man 2, and got a huge Best Buy giftcard which went towards the purchase of a Xbox 360 and Final Fantasy XIII. WooT!

I’m also fully intending on keeping with the Maryland Half Marathon this weekend.  My motivation may be in the shitter, but I have (and never had) any intention of calling it quits on that.

Sorry for the rambling.  Hope you have a good day.

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And by the way, this post in entirely thanks to MrsFatass…if it wasn’t for her I would have probably stayed under my rock until I had something better to report.  Thank you for making me put myself out there